IVF Warrior of the Week – the best IVF fighters on the Instagram
IVF Warrior of the Week
Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples. It is a difficult battle but, as many people prove it, it can be won. Meet the brave women and men who defy infertility and have set off on their own infertility journeys, IVF or egg donation. Every week we choose an Instagrammer who is in the middle of their IVF journey or has won the fight with infertility. We hope their stories inspire you and give you hope and strength to go through the process as smoothly as it is possible.
We have chosen 4 best IVF fighters on Instagram for October 2019
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Some Assembly Required – Alex & Ashley’s IVF Adventure
Bio
Alex and Ashley are a US-based couple in the Detroit, MI area. They have been married for 2 years, together for 4. They met through Facebook in the “People You May Know” Section. They lived across the country from one another, but after 3 months Ashley packed her stuff up, and moved in with Alex. Alex and Ashley are truly that cheesy “love at first sight” kind of couple you know from the movies. The couple has been diagnosed with infertility in January 2018 and has been non-stop, full-throttle in the IVF world for the last 19 months with four cycles, now in their fifth. They’ve switched clinics 3 times. Ashley has had 4 surgeries, 7 procedures and countless tests, medications and needles. Through it all, they have tried to remain grounded and hopeful, and now they feel closer than ever to getting their miracle.
We have asked Alex and Ashley to share with us their number 1 tip for IVF journey. They shared with us not only one but five things men and women should remember about when embarking on their infertility journey.
What’s your no. 1 tip for IVF journey?
There is nothing more important along this journey than your mental health.
I’ve been getting quite a few messages recently from women (and men) who are just starting their IVF journeys. The most common question among them is “what should I expect?” So what do I say to an IVF first-timer, or anyone struggling through their own storm?
You can expect high highs and low lows. There will be times where you feel like you are more powerful than the fiercest lion, and times when you feel like the tiniest, most scared mouse scurrying around with no place to hide. Some days you can conquer the world, other days it’ll be a struggle to get out of bed.
You are going to want to scream, to kick, to cry. My advice is to scream. Scream, kick AND cry. At some point, you are going to get stung, feel heartache, feel like your world is ending. It’s not. In fact, you are also going to have feelings of unequivocal excitement, of relentless hope, and of pure love that you never thought imaginable.
You are going to hope, to dream, to pray, that this will be the answer that’ll lead you to your miracle. You are going to compare your journey to women or couples around you. It’s only natural and completely understandable. But remember, a flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.
There will be times you want to give up. When your body or your mind are going to tell you that’s it, they can’t take any more. In those moments, you listen to your heart and know you can and you will. And if you need to take a break, do so. There is nothing more important along this journey than your mental health.
More than anything, you are going to wear the Badge of Bravery and be in the company of some really kickass people who have been in your shoes. IVF is not a cakewalk, and it is definitely not for the light-hearted. It’s raw, and it’s real, and it’s going to make you feel things you didn’t even know were inside you, that are really, really deep. But I will tell you, it’s a beautiful ride and I hope you enjoy the journey.
What’s your no. 1 tip for IVF journey?
Talk and don’t lose your normality.
Firstly, try to take the whole process a day at a time. It’s such an anxious time, and it can get overwhelming. You are always waiting… for consults, to start a cycle, for scans, results, updates on embryos, the 2WW, etc. It can feel endless with emotions running high because you are so invested and want your dream to come true. It is truly a rollercoaster of emotions – highs of excitement but real lows when things go wrong. But you will pick yourself up and continue, you always do, because your dream burns bright. Just be kind to yourself and try to just take it a step at a time. While we look after our bodies during this process please look after your mind. There is a strong community of men and women you can reach out to on Instagram, always kind and willing to advise and support. If you can see an independent counsellor to support your journey, do it. It was the best investment I made outside IVF. She’s helped me deal with miscarriage and disappointments of cycles not working and managing the anxiety this process has triggered in me. The other thing to look after is your relationship. Your life gets absorbed into trying to conceive, don’t forget there are two of you this impacts. Talk and don’t lose your normality. Invest extra time in keeping it grounded, communicating but also having fun!
Research! Spend time to find a clinic that will suit your needs and circumstances. For our last round, we were changing clinics and we consulted with about 5 different clinics before we settled with our current clinic. The doctor just got our particular situation, her plan was tailored to us, she wanted to minimise risk and further heartbreak. It meant more tests upfront but I’d prefer that than risk more failures. She understood not only the medical side but the emotional side of failed cycles.
Finally, you need a good support team around you – from your pharmacist for meds, to your GP, to your clinic team. Also the emotional support of close friends/family – your front row that will cheer you on and also pick you up. Chose who you want to tell – not everyone will get it. I was lucky some of my best friends also have gone or are going through this so they get it. They have been simply amazing. Without them and the wider medical team, plus the Instagram community it would be a very lonely and isolating journey! Don’t be alone – reach out – there is someone feeling exactly like you right now on the same journey.
What’s your no. 1 tip for IVF journey?
Give yourself time to pick up the pieces. Talk it out.
My number one tip for anyone on an infertility journey is to do everything that you can to look after yourself emotionally (which is much easier said than done!). Infertility is a crazy roller coaster ride where you fill yourself with hope and are so excited for the future but it can be so cruel on the flipside. You can come crashing down with fear, dread, anxiety, sadness, a sense of loss in an instant. Each time a cycle doesn’t work, you have to grieve. Give yourself time to pick up the pieces. Talk it out. Not everyone is going to be able to help you feel better because not everyone is able to empathise and understand what infertility/IVF means. Build a really strong support system through loved ones and a few trusted friends and talk to a professional when needed. Try to keep doing things that you love doing just to give your mind a break from the constant infertility chatter in your head. When you have too much time to think about it, you will drive yourself insane! Think positive as much as you can, remember you are doing your best and your best is good enough.
What’s your no. 1 tip for IVF journey?
Stay focused on what’s important.
For me, the most important thing has been hanging on to my faith. Every battle you get through (even if it’s not the outcome you’d like) really does make you stronger and prepares you for what’s to come. Hanging on to your faith reminds you to stay focused on what’s important and not to get swallowed up by the darkness of infertility.
My faith helped me to become more optimistic about every roadblock or failure I dealt with and reminded me that there is still life happening outside of infertility so it’s important to continue to try and enjoy yourself. God is good. He will see you through.
